I am Tired of Gender and Sex and find it to be Useless and a Trivial Waste of Time and Always Will (9.11.01)

Pictured: A comic strip of myself in various situations. Panel one says "Fantastic job, Mr. Mary!", Panel two takes place in a Kroger Pharmacy and says "Your Atenolol Dose has been upped, sir", and the third takes place in a local store I will not name and says "A kid's menu again, Rosermary? you can hardly fit in our store!"

I experience something I Call "Dysphoric Ennui", Which is basically Saying "Chai Tea", but I apply Dysphoric as I see Dys- Applies to Bodies more, and It Makes Me Feel like a solemn Poet from Maine if I Tack Ennui at the End of It. I Find Myself Dissatisfied with Everything Related to My "Role" In Society, and How I am Viewed. It Isn't A Crushing Weight Breaking all of My Bones But Much More Accurately a Boredom or Distate... Like, Erm, When You're Offered Food and It Has No Seasoning On it, At All.... Haha... I just find it Boring.

I don't fight Against it Tooth and Nail, But It just Leaves Me Feeling Drained, and Bored. Grossed out. The way I am viewed in Society is wrong and always will be wrong. Just like when the Waiter gets Your Order Wrong and You Politely Tell them It's wrong, I do this, But instead of them apologizing and rushing to Fix my order (And I tip extra) They bash me over the head With My Plate and Call me a Delusional Freak and Shove the Food in my Mouth, And I'm Horribly Allergic, So imagine it's shellfish, Well I eat it anyway Because I Don't Care about Things like "Health" or "Anaphylaxis", But I have an Allergic Reaction & They don't really Give a fuck. ....凸(눈_눈)

Pictured: just that.

...Haha... It's frankly Disheartening, To say the Least. I find this most with my Relation to Gender, and Everything that has been expected of that. When My Coworkers Call me by my name, or The Dry Cleaners Presses my Suit, or I get my heart medication from the Pharmacist, When someone moves away from Myself on the Bus, or I Type My Gmail Adress into Something, I can See How these People View me, as a man. I don't... mind it, but it isn't Correct. There's much more than just that. I feel as if I can only express all Parts of myself Behind closed doors, Lest i Face the bitterness of everyone else, Or reveal my Soft Underbelly to a Razorblade. I feel like a sheep, a cog!
I know a few other Queers in real life, but i Shy away from bigger events. Why? I always Feel like a sort of outcast, it Could be just My own Self - Consciousness , but, No... It's not just that. It's a bigger issue, I think. I am Positioned in a way Where everyone thinks They Know My Life, I am Watched Constantly, And One Step in a 'Wrong" Direction Leads to Even More Eyes, Trying to Find your faults, your issues, So they Can Beat you Down into Submission While Claiming You Have A Better Life.

I find this Most Often with my wife, who is a transsexual woman. All of her behavior is Scruntinized, It Is Watched With Seven Hundred Eyes, By Both People on the Interwebs, In her So Called "Community", By People Outside, E.t.C, E.t.C. It's a race to see who can misinterpret the most, Who can beat down the Ones they hate the most. I'm SICK of it! I'm entirely SICK of it and i need It all to Waste Away, Be gone with, Shoo! It's Uselesss. Down to the very Last Drop, Even The Things People Say are 'Real" to get Non-Transsexuals to Not see them as Freaks, When we're all Freaks!

Some People will say that "Gender isn't real, but sex is! Sex and gender are different!" To explain why transsexuals are legitimate, or why transsexuals aren't legitimate, But It's all Bullshit. Giving it a Foot in that Race, Is Trying to come to a conclusion on Why The Earth is Flat By Saying it Really is. It's All Fake, It's all Constructed. It Isn't Innate, It's Meaningless and Such a Huge Spectrum of Things that quite Simply can never and Will never be contained in two (or more!) Seperate Categories, And Have Changed And Differed Amongst thousands of millions of different Cultures, and Are Completely Useless Outside of, Well, the "Sex" Portion, and That is Incredibly Varied, and Not All Sex Even needs to Involve the Use of Genitalia, External or Internal.

Pictured: A "Man" and a "Woman" Stating their place in society.

Drawing often in This Journal as I'm in a Particularly Artsy Mood Today, But Society Allows Opposition to Thrive, The Lower Caste, The Good Rank, The Black and the White, It's All Nonsense. Nonsense People tune into by the Billions Across all parts of The World, to Say their Defiance Is Cruel and Evil, Regressive, Horrible. Punishing this and Baking this Idea into Everyone's Brains Gives leeway to "Justify" it, because They Don;t Need to Justify it Anymore, It's Simply Reality. I Want Away With All of It , All The Things We've Imposed On Each Other. I am Beyond Age, Species, Sex, Orientation, Gender...

~ ~ ~ Listen for An Ethereal ExPerience, UnMatched Transcendence, And Sweet, Sweet, Hypnotic and Sensual Grooves , My Dears ~ ~

P.s, some animal gifs i found while looking for another "Previous" G.I.F I found delightful. I hope these bring you as much schoolgirl joy as they did me. All Found on HeathersAnimations.com~ (⁀ᗢ⁀) ( ˙▿˙ )( = ⩊ = )/ Fuhuuhuhu~